No Next Time
by Vaviacya
Summary: Dear Lovino... I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this in person. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. But there are some things, I suppose, that are better written in words rather than spoken from the mouth of a liar. /Antonio's last letter/


_Dear Lovino,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this in person. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. But there are some things, I suppose, that are better write in words rather than spoken from the mouth of a liar. I'm not going to say that I'm sorry. I can't. Because that, too, would be a lie._

_Lovino, things aren't working. We both know it. Tension has been worsening, and thickening – it's nearly tangible. Your words and attitude, with my ignorance and selfish pride... We both knew that this would never last long. I had hoped it would... I really would. I had thought, I had **wished**, that somehow, that even with our differences, that we could make it work. Love will find a way, isn't that the saying? But now, as I write this, I fail to see the way it might work in this situation._

_You're unbearable. How in the hell I have managed to put up with you for this long is beyond me. It needs to end now. If I don't leave now, I don't think I ever can._

_I tried so damn hard – **too** damn hard with maintaining this relationship, and I see absolutely no progress on your side. I've been doing everything I can, I really have. Even if you can't see it._

_You'll never change, will you? You've always been like this. So obnoxious, so childish, so inconsiderate. Sure, it might have been a little amusing when you were five, but now it's making me put dents in the wall._

_You need to change a few things if you ever think you'll ever want a meaningful partner, because I can promise you that no one alive would be able to put up with you._

_It's ripping my heart into pieces just getting these words down on paper. But you deserve to know why I'm doing this._

_There's no one else. Don't go blame anyone else, especially not your brother. The fault here is all yours._

_What can I do? What do you want me to do? I've been trying everything I can, everything I can think of! I'm so frustrated of this, and I know you are, too. It's so obvious... You don't hide your emotions very well. Or at all._

_You never even try to control your feelings, do you? You just let them out as you please, and expect everyone to comply and make you feel better. Damn. You have so much more about life to learn. Amazing. Physically, you're twenty years old, but you have the mind and maturity of a fourteen-year-old._

_You need to learn how to stick up for yourself. I think that if you could, we wouldn't be in this mess, but that's just a guess. Knowing you, you wouldn't even bother. Hell, you don't care about anything, do you? You've never loved me, you've never even liked me._

_I liked that. I liked hearing those words from your lips, and, not even knowing that I was being lied to, believed them. I believed them with my entire soul, and being. Know that, got it? Whenever you tell someone that you 'love' them, at least try to make it sound real._

_Forget me, remember me, I don't care either way. Just remember this: Love is the effort you put into it. Don't get it? Well, go act like a whore again until you manage to get yourself another 'boyfriend', and experiment. Because that's what you did to me. That's all I am to you, am I right? Just another character in your experimental game._

_You've always said that you wanted a passionate lover... Well, passionate lovers don't want you._

_Do you remember that one argument we had just a few month ago? It was somewhat of a major one. You were yelling, and I was equally as furious. I don't even know what we were fighting about. Isn't that stupid? I was so caught up in that moment that I don't even remember. What moment, you might be thinking? The one when a single tear ran down my cheek, completely enraged, and you just smirked. You **smirked** at my tears, like you were **proud** of yourself for making feel that way._

_I'll never forget that sly, stupid little smile. Never. It made me so... There are no words I can use to express my raw anger. Not like you would have listened, anyway._

_I don't know what you want from me anymore. I thought I had offered you everything I had – and more... But I guess there must have been something that I missed. I don't know... What was it? I gave you the attention that I knew you secretly craved. I met you with open arms, ready to ease any pain, kiss away any sorrows... I don't know. I don't know what I did wrong. Was I too compassionate? Was I too clingy? You should have told me. I would have listened._

_**I** would have listened._

_Learn from your mistakes. Learn from this letter._

_I know that I'm not the world's best boyfriend – I'm far from it, and will most likely remain that way. I know that I can be a pain at times, I know that I can be extremely, frustratingly unhelpful and misunderstanding, but at least I **TRIED.**_

_Is that too much to ask for? ! One day, just one day! Could you just **pretend** that I meant **something** to to you? Is it too much for **me** to ask for a little attention? A little affection? I don't get it... How could you not see this? I thought it was clear as day... Who am I kidding?_

_So, this is the end. I just can't handle it anymore. I've put up with this for too long, and I've finally decided that there's more to life than wasting it with you._

_I'm frustrated, I'm furious, and I'm finished._

_- Antonio_

_P.S. I love the way you lie._


End file.
